Purpose

The basic question - what is the purpose of my life?

We've been home three months now from eagerly trekking through the American West. I could happily be there still. Maureen, however, has had that experience and is eager to resume a more conventional life: career, garden, grandchild.

The grandchild thing is seductive. They reach, hopefully, into the 22nd Century. Our children, being smarter, more pragmatic and more stable than I will impart the best of our lineage. There are no guarantees, but the hope is always there in these early days that an infant's life will be better, more important, than ours. Frail and helpless, such a massive, blank canvas carried by such a complex organism, so much opportunity for ill, such hope for good. They are facsinating.

But, this tiny infant will go on, well sheltered and supported by her parents, without me. What is the purpose of my taking up space, using resources, creating pollution in our finite world? How do I justify my continuing existence?

My father saw his purpose as caring for my mother. Theirs was a different world. She the traditional homemaker with brief forays into outside employment, he the father who stoically worked regardless of his health or dreams; providing, maintaining their home, their car, their life even when she resented his stability.

That is the basis of so many unexamined lives; caring for ourselves and the others. "Not being a burden." "Having a family." "Helping the kids." "Keeping up the house." "Paying our bills." "Taking a vacation." "Working." "Volunteering." Workers in the mundane hive. Attempting to perpetuate our view of how life should be. Promoting our beliefs while they inexorably mutate in the churn, the tumult. Creating amature art and crafts that are little more than clutter. Are these justifiable reasons to put our feet on the floor each morning and shuffle out to impose ourselves on the universe?

If we did not? What if instead we rolled into our covers and through suspension of effort let the constant assaults on our viability win, to return us to the earth? Whatever minor contributions we made to participating in the global economy would be lost. The green grocer, the barrista, the utility, the petroleum multinational, the pharmaceutical giant, the factory in China and all those from whom we consume would be diminished: microscopically to be sure, but none the less diminished.

To a greater degree, but still almost too little to notice, would be the loss to those with whom we interact. Not necessarily commerically, but as fellow sentient beings. That grocer from whom you bought produce, you confirmed his choice of goods, his pricing, his presentation. If you happen to smile or say a positive word you had an even greater impact in reinforcing his sense of worth and well being. As you left the market, that person for whom you held the door, especially if they were not more frail, especially if they were of a different ethnicity, you enhanced their life. As you drove you polluted and yet you added wear to your car, moving it microscopically toward replacement thereby contributing to all the jobs in that complex supply chain.

Is that our purpose, is that my purpose, as George W. Bush, exhorted, to shop, to consume? It is one. As he understood, a stagnant economy imperils all boats. Another purpose is to interact. To provide help and just as importantly, to accept help. No one can do good unless another needs help, accepts help. That help may be as little as a kind word, a smile or letting another driver have the parking spot, but each of those actions improves our society. There are some who email you, who text you, who, however quaintly, stop by in person to visit you. They would truly be diminished by your absence. John Donne had it right that the loss of any of us diminishes all of us because we are involved in mankind.

We are in a time of great discord, of national division. Two of the thirds of our population thinks another third is ill-informed, morally-lacking, subversive, a burden on our nation, maybe traitorous. We reassure ourselves we're right in our emotional beliefs by devouring the tribal media as if it was as essential as water to our existence. The remaining third observes, leans, ignores. Is my purpose to participate in this continuous contention? I've certainly sent my salvoes over the wall; informing, refuting and inflaming "them." And I've taken broadsides, been challenged, refuted, insulted. None of it did any good. I affirmed the beliefs of those who agree with me and was ignored by those who do not. Minds are not changed this way.

I do believe it is a valid purpose to identify fake news on any side of our many debates. Too much of it is traded as valid It poisons and subverts. Calling our lies, offering the relevant facts is a valid purpose. Others do it professionally, but lies must be called out where they are found and immediately.

But what is the positive side of this: sharing truth? As absurd as it sounds to me as I write it, we have our own truths now. Facts, like statistics, are interpreted. Facts are tranched and recombined to create complex, marketable, difficult to dismantle investments in perpetuating a story line. All of these manipulations erode our individual ability to discern the truth.That adds to confusion and frustration, a sense of futility and a tendency to withdraw from participation. I do think I have an abilty to sustain somewhat opposing points of view. That gives me the ability to, if not embrace, at least appreicate and mull opposing points of view.

Still, just putting out flat statements is of little value in closing our fissures. A valid purpose in life, for a life in these times, is listening. Not refuting, not letting the other talk while I assemble my rebuttal, but really listening, trying to understand. Letting another person be heard. In explaining, in being fully heard, we often hear inconsistencies in our own arguments. Free from external assault we often start to moderate our views, to permit that there may be some validity to a different point of view. I need to find, (create?) forums for just such dialog. That would be a valid purpose for a life at this moment. Not to debate, but to listen. And, with each interaction to somehow, however slightly, enhance the other person's experience. Smiling comes to mind.

9 Life Lessons for a Grand Road Trip

My husband and I recently returned from a 6-month RV road trip to the West and Southwest. The trip was a realization of some of our respective bucket list dreams. Now that the trip has ended, I’ve reflected on what life lessons helped make it a successful journey.

A little background: A little over a year ago, the company I worked for closed the Indianapolis office as part of an impending acquisition. I spent 30 days as a contractor helping to transfer knowledge and processes to corporate resources. I spent another 30 days using the outplacement services they provided, then 7 months networking and applying for a new marketing director position in the Indianapolis area. In mid-August, our daughter and son-in-law shared exciting news. In 7 months, we would be grandparents. My husband, who was retired the previous year, wasted no time explaining how NOW was the time for “our dream trip” – before the grandchild arrives, before we get older, before we resettle into the daily routines new jobs would require. For a woman who researches, plans and executes marketing plans for a living; who runs pilot tests and evaluates the return before committing resources to a full program, this trip sounded enticing and adventurous yes, but also impulsive and scary. Lessons we learned in both business and life were instrumental in helping us realize this trip.

1. Be brave. Let go of the fear. We've all heard fear can paralyze some and motivate others. Based on personal experience, I’ve let it do both to me. I recalled the famous Zig Ziglar quote that read, “FEAR has two meanings: ‘Forget Everything And Run’ or ‘Face Everything And Rise.’ The choice is yours.” I chose to rise to the occasion and embrace this journey.
2. Be strategic. Start with a general plan. Long trips take planning, but a plan can come together quickly if you know how to tackle it strategically. We discussed our priorities - to explore new places, have fun and visit as many friends and family along the way. We created a list of places and people we wanted to see. We bought a road atlas and highlighted those places on the map. We wanted to start in the north and work our way south as the weather turned colder. This plan became our general roadmap. However, we chose not to create detailed daily itineraries because we did not want a schedule so packed that it barred spontaneity. 
3. Be prepared. Do your research. Don’t reinvent the wheel. Being new to the RV world, we scoured the internet to learn the tips and tricks of others who’ve taken similar journeys. We watched videos on how to operate, maintain and troubleshoot the RV. We downloaded checklists for everything – from what clothing and household items to pack, to how to stock the pantry, hook up the tow car, and prep for take-off and arrivals. We modified those checklists to suit our needs and referred to them often to avoid mistakes along the way.
4. Be efficient. Less is more has long been our travel motto. Decades of business travel across country and overseas have taught us both how to pack efficiently with a single carry-on bag and computer backpack to avoid long lines. Allowing for the broad temperature ranges we’d face required both warm- and cold-weather clothing with flexible layering options. We included a few dressier pieces, just in case, but kept clothing choices concise because we knew laundromats would be near and we’d never be in one place for more than a week. Packing for the new compact kitchen was the bigger puzzle to solve. But I managed it well, knowing it was only going to be a 6-month situation. I scaled back the dishes, pans, cooking utensils and pantry supplies. We also adjusted our cooking style and menu options. Still, when all was said and done, there were several items in the kitchen and closets we never used. 
5. Be flexible. As in business, you cannot anticipate all that you will experience so be open to changing your course if needed. In our instance, one of our early goals was to travel to Yellowstone National Park before winter hit. Our new motorhome wasn’t outfitted for winter travel. We knew were cutting it close leaving September 10th, so when the polar vortex blew 8” of snow and sub-freezing temps on Yellowstone the day before our arrival, we used our back-up plan. We traveled south and would try to approach it again from Utah if the weather changed. Later, when we realized we weren’t going to be able to hit Bryce Canyon or Yellowstone due to snow and frigid temps, we headed south toward Las Vegas and San Diego. We then received a text from a dear friend in Scottsdale whose husband needed unexpected bypass surgery. We were able to postpone our trip to San Diego and head directly to Scottsdale to lend a hand and moral support. We were so glad we were able to do that!
6. Be proactive. Keep others informed along the way. Thanks to today’s built-in technology of smart phones, this was easy to do. We used calling, texting, emailing, posting and instant messaging to keep our adult children, parents, families and friends informed of our progress and changes in plans. We created this blog to share our experiences and photos in more detail. And just as important was having regular check-ins with each other to make sure we were both getting out of the trip what we wanted. 
7. Be realistic. Don’t try to do too much. Remember why you’re out there in the first place and prioritize. We knew we couldn’t do it all, so when we were in a location that had more to offer than the time we had allotted, we discussed our options and decided together. Sometimes that meant agreeing to extending our stay another day or starting our days earlier to do more in the time we had. Other times, we prioritized activities based on weather or convenience.
8. Be spontaneous. Remember the big picture is to have fun. If something of interest pops up that wasn’t on your list, do it! Like the time a cousin messaged and invited us to tour ILM in San Francisco – when would we have that opportunity again?! If you hiked 10 miles in the canyons yesterday and today you want to rest and read or sort through the 500 photos you took yesterday, it’s OK. If you meet a nice couple on the beach and you’d like to get to know them better, invite them over for a drink or meal. If you pass the “artichoke capitol of the world” and had no idea there was such a thing, then stop at one of the Castroville roadside markets and buy some artichokes! 
9. Be grateful. In the daily grind, it’s easy to take things for granted. We have so much to be thankful for. We may have been without jobs for the moment, but we have our health. We had saved for our future and contingency plans. We had the support of family and friends who all encouraged us to take the leap and enjoy the journey. We loved and liked each other enough to be together 24/7 for 6 months in a tiny travel home. We’ve been blessed with many friends over the years who are now dispersed across the US. When we shared our travel plans, they were eager to have us visit. Some so graciously hosted us in their beautiful homes for days; others happily met us for meals at their favorite restaurants. We cherished all the face-to-face time we had with our dear friends and extended family along the way. We are grateful for the overall wonderful weather we experienced. We were overwhelmed by the magnificent beauty and diversity of this vast country. We were thankful for the safe travel of more than 9,500 miles. I wake every day still grateful for this amazing experience.

I’m sure there are more life lessons that can be applied. I’ll leave it here for now. If you have a road trip like this on your bucket list, consider these and start planning. Happy travels!

Walking a White Sand Beach near Destin, Florida

Before we turned north to head home to the cold and gray end of winter in Indianapolis, Dennis and I left Baton Rouge, Louisiana, and pushed east to the panhandle of Florida. We chose a spot just east of Destin called Topsail Hill Preserve State Park. We wanted to see the ocean one more time - hopefully with the sun shining warm enough we could walk the beach. This state park also has several nature trails around three coastal dune lakes, giving us several options for getting in 10,000 steps or more. Neither of us had been to Destin Florida before. We had heard and read so much about the white sandy beaches and wanted to see how it compared to places like Gulf Shores, AL, Sanibel-Captiva, FL and Kiawah Island, SC.

This state park was surprisingly nice! The campsites were spacious enough, tucked in between trees and arranged in a way that didn't feel too close to the next site.

We loved the white sandy beach and the park's nature trails around the coastal dune lakes.

Interesting deer lichen 

Osprey eating lunch

Osprey choosing carryout

Lake Campbell

The park also has cabins and cottages to rent. These might be fun alternatives to the Kiawah cottages we rent for the extended family vacation. We would have liked to have stayed longer but rain was coming in and we had to drive home.

Home

Gray.
The rain speckling the thin fog between my window and the far line of bare trees.
The hair that lay on the floor around the chair as I was finally, properly shorn yesterday.
The feeling that seeps into me if I sit.
All gray.

My plan was to return to Indy, neutralize and winterize the RV, take out any perishables, our toiletries and the clothes, tools, etc. we might need. Things we didn't have duplicated at home. To that end we rented an expensive sheltered spot on the northeast side of town. It has a 30 amp connection that would allow us to further protect against freezing any items we left inside.  Then, when the weather improved we could go out mid-weeks to mushroom hunt, visit nearby State Parks. List it for sale on line and take it here and there with For Sale signs in the window.

We've been home a week now. I've listed it on RV Trader, Facebook Marketplace, eBay and Craigslist. It's up to someone other than me to decide if it sells in a month.

The weather here has been what is to be expected; cold, gray and wet. The days are light gray, the nights a very dark gray. Wednesday the temperature climbed to sixty and I tried to lift my spirits to jog. We walked instead. I've busied myself listing the RV on various sites, cleaning the photos for same and sparring on line with a brother-in-law over the many battle lines drawn across our society. Computers are unremarkably tedious. Won't connect to the printer, little "Internet Email Enter your password" pop-up appears every three minutes to block the middle of the screen, etc. Tedium. Gray . . . tedium. Problems that, when you solve them, get you back to zero, to neutral, to where you thought you were.

The light rain has now devolved to light snow.

Daughter's baby shower was this afternoon. Last few days M has been busily making treats for the event. Good to smell the heart-shaped individual tarts baking in the oven.

I've started painting with acrylics. I used to work with oils. But, they are so numbingly slow to dry and expensive. Plus, oils are so old school. I have no great aspiration, just a desire to reconnect with something that used to bring me joy. Currently working to solve the puzzle of making smooth transitions across a large canvas. I've gessoed over enough attempts the work is taking on a certain heft. No importance, just heft.

I lost four or five pounds on the five-month trip. Lots of hiking and clambering up rocks at first. We converted to almost total vegetarianism. Eggs in some baked goods, cut way back on oils. No milk. No meat or even fish. A month ago when it was sunny and I would jog I felt as if I had more energy. Knee didn't hurt. Eating Grains, Greens n' Beans. Not enough greens for my taste, but some kale mixed in this and that. Hard to keep the balance. But then, it's hard to keep any balance.

Need to force myself outside to jog.

Lunar Eclipse 2018

Dennis and I made a point to view the recently touted Super Blue Blood Moon Lunar Eclipse, which took place this morning, January 31, 2018. We were not on the west coast where viewing was to be ideal, so we were not sure how much of it we'd be able to see on the West Bay of Galveston Island, Texas. Nonetheless, we gave it a go.

As we stepped out of HaRVee at 5:45 a.m. CT, we could see the lunar eclipse part had already started. Dennis did some surveillance yesterday afternoon to find a good viewing spot. We drove

to this spot about 1.5 miles away so we could view the moon over the bay with minimal disruption from nearby homes and businesses. We were hoping to photograph the blood moon as it set behind the bay. This spot would have offered a delightful reflection of the large red-orange moon on the water. However, NASA was correct. Galveston was not ideal for the average person to view this phenomenon in totality.

The moon disappeared from view as the last sliver was covered in the eclipse. We waited, hoping it would reappear, but no such luck. So here are a few of the photos I took, handheld, because we didn't pack a tripod for our journey.

Best shot of eclipsing moon reflecting on bay

The sunrise was quite colorful behind us and gave way to an amazing view of the surrounding marshlands.

Early dawn colors

After sunrise, fog begins rolling in over the marsh

Rosy pink sunrise reflecting on the bayou

Flocks coming in to feed

Looks like we were near the Ganges Bayou. Here we saw many birds, some species for the first time, like the spoonbill crane, great white egret, ibis, white egret and the great blue heron. We even saw pelicans, sandpipers and a white owl in flight, but they moved too quickly for good photos.

Roseate Spoonbill

Roseate Spoonbill

Close-up Roseate Spoonbill

Great Blue Heron taking flight

Great Blue Heron preening

Great Egret (R)

Ibis

Spoonbill (L) White Egret (L)

Bayou bird restaurant

Hope you enjoy these lunar eclipse photos for what they are and don't mind seeing a few more of our feather friends.

Industrial Light & Magic

Thanks to one of Maureen's lovely cousins, Monica, and her talented, very generous husband, whom we'll only identify as Mr. B, just before Christmas, 2017 we were given a tour of the Industrial Light & Magic / LucasFilm facilities, Letterman Digital Arts Center, inside the Presidio in San Francisco. After a bit, I felt guilty being given the tour. I'd needed more time to prep. I needed to watch a dozen more movies, a couple I'd seen again,. I needed to read some blogs, I really needed to talk to our son-in-law, Joe. I didn't know enough. In truth, I wasn't worthy.

In case ILM or even LucasFilm doesn't ring a bell for you, they are the CGI (Computer Generated Imagery) or VFX  (Visual Effects) wizards who made the original Star Wars trilogy, the Indiana Jones movies, Jurassic Park, Pirates of the Caribbean, Transformers, Avengers, Iron Man, Captain America, etc., etc., etc.  In some cases they built the equipment to make the effects possible. They are artists, technicians, sculptors and imaginators on the highest international level.

Maureen with Monica

Mr. B would show us a maquette (I had to look it up) and ask if we recognized it. Too often we would not know. He was very gracious, but it was like lifting the edge of the tent of magic for a guy with cataracts in very dark glasses.

So, with only a few comments, because I know how pure many true fans want their information, here are the snapshots I took with my phone as we walked through the temple.
Forgive me. I was not worthy.

This bronze Yoda stands guard at the door.
Rightfully, up on a pedestal

The original ILM logo

More talent than you can shake a light saber at.

Rogue One Death Trooper in the lobby

Close up of the weapon

Mr. B said the Vader armor in the lobby was not "real" in that it wasn't from a particular episode and was instead assembled from parts. I think Lord Vader's life support control panel here is most like Episode 1.

Dangerous lobby. Here I was stopped by Boba Fett in his Mandalorian armor.
Luckily Mr. B vouched for me. 

The real, original R2D2 and C3PO. (Sorry for the Christmas light contamination.)

The real Yoda, from Episode IV

This is a large framed print in a hallway. It shows some of the early Star Wars concept sketches

Storm Troopers are tall. "Real" ST armor.

Elements of a single frame composited for the Speeder sequence

The original Compositor the team at ILM assembled from other equipment to create Star Wars' effects.

Mr. B, M and me, in his office. Kickass Capt. America shield on the wall.

Ray Harryhaussen was one of the original stop-motion wizards of movies.
He was SFX royalty and often visited ILM. Every time he did he would sign this famous still from one of his films; 1958's The 7th Voyage of Sinbad.

Hans Solo's modified TL-44 Heavy Blaster

You have chosen wisely, Pilgrim. The Holy Grail sits in a glass case in ILM.

The real boy's bike from E.T.

The VFX crew for E.T.

The VFX crew for Captain America, The Winter Soldier. Complexity has grown.

For Jurassic Park they tried this animatronic. It was too jerky in the tests so they went CG.

It's amazing what you find in their halls.

And what will find you. Clever girl. Came right up beside us.

A large (6 ft across?) matte painting. 

This was the exterior door of the original ILM | LucasFilms on an industrial looking building.
This is now in a hallway inside the Presidio.
There's a story about this, but it's going to cost you a glass of wine to hear it.

It was a fascinating tour, lavish in the time we were given. Like so many very talented people the folks we met at ILM were charming, witty, modest and gracious. It was wonderful. 

We were in awe.