Home

Gray.
The rain speckling the thin fog between my window and the far line of bare trees.
The hair that lay on the floor around the chair as I was finally, properly shorn yesterday.
The feeling that seeps into me if I sit.
All gray.

My plan was to return to Indy, neutralize and winterize the RV, take out any perishables, our toiletries and the clothes, tools, etc. we might need. Things we didn't have duplicated at home. To that end we rented an expensive sheltered spot on the northeast side of town. It has a 30 amp connection that would allow us to further protect against freezing any items we left inside.  Then, when the weather improved we could go out mid-weeks to mushroom hunt, visit nearby State Parks. List it for sale on line and take it here and there with For Sale signs in the window.

We've been home a week now. I've listed it on RV Trader, Facebook Marketplace, eBay and Craigslist. It's up to someone other than me to decide if it sells in a month.

The weather here has been what is to be expected; cold, gray and wet. The days are light gray, the nights a very dark gray. Wednesday the temperature climbed to sixty and I tried to lift my spirits to jog. We walked instead. I've busied myself listing the RV on various sites, cleaning the photos for same and sparring on line with a brother-in-law over the many battle lines drawn across our society. Computers are unremarkably tedious. Won't connect to the printer, little "Internet Email Enter your password" pop-up appears every three minutes to block the middle of the screen, etc. Tedium. Gray . . . tedium. Problems that, when you solve them, get you back to zero, to neutral, to where you thought you were.

The light rain has now devolved to light snow.

Daughter's baby shower was this afternoon. Last few days M has been busily making treats for the event. Good to smell the heart-shaped individual tarts baking in the oven.

I've started painting with acrylics. I used to work with oils. But, they are so numbingly slow to dry and expensive. Plus, oils are so old school. I have no great aspiration, just a desire to reconnect with something that used to bring me joy. Currently working to solve the puzzle of making smooth transitions across a large canvas. I've gessoed over enough attempts the work is taking on a certain heft. No importance, just heft.

I lost four or five pounds on the five-month trip. Lots of hiking and clambering up rocks at first. We converted to almost total vegetarianism. Eggs in some baked goods, cut way back on oils. No milk. No meat or even fish. A month ago when it was sunny and I would jog I felt as if I had more energy. Knee didn't hurt. Eating Grains, Greens n' Beans. Not enough greens for my taste, but some kale mixed in this and that. Hard to keep the balance. But then, it's hard to keep any balance.

Need to force myself outside to jog.